Arrogance and lack of empathy are characteristic of narcissistic personality disorder. Partnership is a big challenge under these conditions. For narcissists are primarily concerned with themselves and do not care about what other people feel. At the same time they are quickly hurt. Read all important information about Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Partnership here.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder: Partnership or Egotrip?
Narcissism and partnership – that is a contradiction in terms. People with narcissism who are abnormally ill can hardly empathize with other people. In their world, everything revolves around themselves. The claim to always being right and superior to others is also typical of narcissism. Building relationships with someone who seems to love only themselves is not easy. It is all the more important to know the symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Because knowledge can help you better understand and better handle difficult behaviors.
Narcissistic personality disorder: relationships with open and hidden narcissists
Experts distinguish between overt and covert narcissism. Partnership is made more difficult by covert narcissism, especially through envy and offense. Those affected also hardly bear to be dependent on their partner.
Persons with overt narcissism appear very seductive and convincing at the beginning of the relationship. Her extreme self-confidence initially appeals to other people. Only after some time the partner realizes that the behavior of the narcissist has an exploitative character. A narcissist does not see the partner as equal, but feels superior to the other. Above all, the partner is necessary to confirm the narcissist in his magnificence and to admire him.
Narcissistic collusion
Experts speak of a narcissistic collusion when partners are found, one of whom occupies the grandiose and one the submissive pole of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It is an interaction of devaluation and idealization. Narcissists often seek a partner who subordinates themselves. In this way they protect their grandiose self-image. The partner is very adapted and puts his own needs behind those of the narcissist. These are two extremes that can get along very harmoniously for some time. However, once the submissive partner leaves his position, the relationship is in jeopardy. People with a narcissistic personality disorder do not tolerate questioning their behavior. They live according to the motto “who is not for me, is against me”.
Narcissism and separation
People with a narcissistic personality disorder are slightly offended. Especially with women, a single “no” can make them feel rejected in their entire person. Since those affected perceive criticism as very threatening, even small conflicts often lead to a big argument. They have great difficulty in correctly classifying their feelings and processing them appropriately. So that the partner does not see their vulnerability, they show anger instead of grief or disappointment. If narcissistic people feel offended, they will respond with revenge. They then see the partner as an enemy they try to inflict pain on.
Narcissism manifests itself in the partnership above all in the fact that a narcissist has the claim that the partner must fulfill their wishes and expectations. If he does not, they feel unloved and punish the partner. For him, the extent of the anger is incomprehensible, since the true feelings and fears behind the anger remain hidden from him.
The separation from a narcissist is a difficult and painful process. A narcissist does not feel responsible for problems in the relationship. In case of separation, he / she blames the partner and goes out of his way to emerge from the separation as a “winner”.
These violent reactions from people with narcissistic personality disorder show not only their lack of ability to empathize with others (empathy inability), but also how strong their need is to be loved. Their internal security depends on the constant recognition from outside.
Narcissistic personality disorder: dealing with narcissists
A narcissistic partner is constantly busy making a name for himself. The needs of the partner fall into the background. When the partner suffers from narcissistic personality disorder, it is not only important that he or she can be treated, it is equally important for the partner to get help for themselves. Professionals, such as therapists or consultants, can also help the partner. In the best case, both partners work on the unhealthy relationship patterns. For a partnership always includes two. Couple therapy can contribute to a common positive development. If children are present, professional support is particularly important so that they suffer as little as possible from the conflicts of the parents.