A borderline relationship is characterized by intense emotions: in one moment euphoric and idealizing, in the next moment angry and aggressive. At first, people with borderline experience new relationships as exciting and intoxicating. As soon as the first conflicts occur, mood and feelings will topple. Many borderline people break their relationships with other people prematurely. Read all important information about the special challenges in the relations of borderliners.
Borderline relationship: intense and unstable
Relationships are a challenge for most people. They mean making compromises, sometimes staking back and resolving conflicts. For borderline patients, these challenges are particularly difficult to manage. The unexpected mood swings and low frustration tolerance of people with borderline syndrome are putting relationships with other people to the test. Especially with a borderline partner or a borderline partner to enter into a love relationship permanently is not easy.
At the beginning of relationships or friendships, borderline people idealize the other person. They speak of having found a soulmate. The emotions are very intense and intoxicating. However, it can be problematic when friends or partners have other friendships. People with borderline often have a sole claim on related persons. They quickly become jealous. Sooner or later, the first deified person becomes an opponent. As intense as the partner or friend was adored at the beginning, he is now hated.
Borderline: separation
Dealing with borderline is difficult. For people with borderline, the causes of their fluctuating emotions are hard to spot. The emotions come as unexpected for the person concerned as for his counterpart. Fearing negative feelings or abandonment, borderline relationships end quickly.
The behavior of borderline people creates a variety of negative emotions in the social environment: concern over self-harm, anger over their aggressive behavior, disappointment with their ill-considered actions, and compassion for their illness. These reactions are quite natural in co-frontier with borderline. Partners and friends should allow these emotions.
Borderline Relationship: Partnership
People with borderline are very afraid of being alone. At the same time, they do not hold relationships for long. Often they jump from one relationship to the next. Abandoning relationships suddenly is a typical feature of Borderline. It is therefore not easy to maintain a long-term relationship with a borderline partner.
The emotional fluctuations of a Borderliner are often incomprehensible to the partner and the borderline relationship behavior can be grueling. If the partner then reacts in a dismissive or annoyed manner, anxiety increases in the Bordeline patients. Tantrums or manipulation attempts are common reactions. Some threaten suicide if the partner leaves. This can quickly lead to co-dependency in the borderline relationship.
The partner does everything for the person concerned and puts his own needs in the background. Thus, the mental disorder is maintained or even strengthened. It is important that the partner recognizes the disturbed behavior patterns in the borderline relationship and seeks help. Together with the therapist, the couple can work to reconcile their own needs with those of others.
Borderline: love and sexuality
Borderline patients who have experienced abuse in their childhood have great difficulty in establishing long-term relationships. Relations based on understanding and appreciation are unfamiliar to them. At the same time, a strong longing for closeness is typical at Borderline. Sexuality is then used by many patients as a means to build a relationship.
Often, borderline women’s sexual orientation is unclear. Because the difficulties with their own identity are also reflected in the sexual orientation. Their sexual openness combined with impulsiveness can be attractive to other people. You are at risk of getting yourself into an abusive situation without noticing it immediately.
There are indications that borderline sex is also used to reduce tension and suppress anxiety. Some borderline patients seek the risk, harm themselves and fall into an even deeper void.
Borderline: friendship
Whether love relationship or friendship – dealing with borderline sufferers is always a tightrope act. The constant change between proximity and distance, the emotional roller coaster rides and the outbursts of rage are difficult to endure in the long term.
Many people with borderline also often lie – because mistakes in their black and white embossed worldview have no place or are left out of fear.
Borderline Relationship: Family
Adolescents with Borderline Disorder can very quickly change the dynamics in the family. They attract attention. Risky behavior, mood swings or even suicide attempts are part of the mental disorder. For borderline family members, the behavior of the affected family member is often disturbing. They can not understand the actions and often feel helpless.
Family members should therefore be careful not to put their own needs behind them. Healthy siblings often have to fight for the attention and attention of parents. This not only promotes a bad mood in the family, but also increases the anger on the Borderliner. With therapeutic support it is easier to maintain the family structure and to reduce the emotional chaos.
Borderline relationship: dealing with borderline
Especially close people, such as the family, suffer from the extreme symptoms of borderline. Relatives and partners can contact counseling centers for information and contact with therapists. A therapeutic treatment, outpatient or inpatient, is definitely recommended in borderline. In the fewest cases, those affected succeed in getting their lives under control without help.
Family members or partners are involved, if possible, by the therapist. The therapist first clarifies the relatives in detail about the mental disorder. Knowing borderline syndrome is an important first step in understanding the person better. In the next step, topics that cause problems in the family or partnership can be edited. In therapy, the relatives learn how to deal with the symptoms of borderline and thus contribute to recovery.
Therapeutic treatment can take many years because borderline is a very profound disorder. For those affected, as well as the family, partners or friends, dealing with the mental disorder is a demanding learning process. Support from loved ones is very important to borderline people and favors positive development.
Borderline syndrome is also a burden on the social environment. Relatives must therefore also pay attention to their own well-being. Get support and take a break from time to time to recharge your batteries.
Relatives groups can contribute to the relief. There, relatives can benefit from the knowledge and experience of others. A Borderline relationship can also be enriching if you face the challenges together. A professional support in this way is highly recommended and in many cases necessary.